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Openness is... Inviting Love In.
4 years ago
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
New Family Pics
I realized that all of our pictures on our blog are incredibly old, 2 years old to be exact, and needless to say we look a lot different! We also haven't done much updating in a REALLY long time! So I thought I would add some of our most recent pictures. They were taken back in May, soon after I had surgery. It seemed to be an especially cold spring so we toughed it out and got the pictures taken. Here's a few of our favorites.
And of course Chad had to be difficult...
Doin' What We Do
It's been a while since we post on our blog, so I wanted to just add a few little updates. The adoption/infertility road has definitely been a roller coaster. We are just so happy to have each other through everything and we both agree that our marriage and our relationship are better than ever. If nothing else, we have grown closer through our trials.
We haven't stopped doing the things that we love to do and one of those things of course is traveling. We take every opportunity we can to head back to California to visit family, the beach and of course Disneyland! And Tara can't get enough of the shopping whenever we are there! For Christmas 2009, Tara's parents took the family to England! It was amazing and we absolutely fell in love with all things British! Well except for maybe English food... This year for Christmas will also be an adventure as we head to... Italy! Tara has always loved Europe and has been wanting to go to Italy ever since she can remember. We'll see if we fall in love with Italy as much as we love England!
Tara made Chad stand in a telephone booth just for a picture...
We haven't stopped doing the things that we love to do and one of those things of course is traveling. We take every opportunity we can to head back to California to visit family, the beach and of course Disneyland! And Tara can't get enough of the shopping whenever we are there! For Christmas 2009, Tara's parents took the family to England! It was amazing and we absolutely fell in love with all things British! Well except for maybe English food... This year for Christmas will also be an adventure as we head to... Italy! Tara has always loved Europe and has been wanting to go to Italy ever since she can remember. We'll see if we fall in love with Italy as much as we love England!
Tara made Chad stand in a telephone booth just for a picture...
Friday, July 16, 2010
A Day to Celebrate!
On July 8, Chad and I celebrated our 4 year anniversary! I can't believe it's already been 4 years! Weren't we just planning our wedding like 6 months ago!? Every anniversary before we have also taken a quick weekend trip or an overnighter somewhere. This year, I had bigger and better plans in mind! About a week after getting back from London in January, I was already feeling that little itch I get once in while that usually means I need to go another trip somewhere. I've worked hard on pushing it away since we obviously needed to save up more time off from work anyway. I also had lots of conversations with my mom about family vacations we could take in the future- VERY far down the road anyway!
One night while hanging out in front of the tv after work, I saw a commercial for some killer deals on Carnival Cruise Line. I didn't think much of it at first, but I kept seeing the commercial over and OVER again for about a week. With Chad completely unaware, I started looking through the deals online. And then it hit me- I could buy a cruise as a gift to Chad for our anniversary! After lots of discussion with my mom and my friends and coworkers, I took the plunge! I just couldn't pass up the deal that I found and with some good connections, also am getting some killer deals on airfare.
For weeks I had to keep it a secret from Chad and it was killing me! The very day that I purchased the cruise I spilled the beans about 4 or 5 times. Anyone that knows me knows that when I am trying to keep something like this a secret, it's pretty near impossible for me to not explode! But somehow I did it and at dinner on our anniversary, I gave Chad his gift. So come the end of October Chad and I will be sailing of to the Bahamas for 4 days! I've cruised quite a few places, but have never seen the Bahamas. Can't wait to be in the crystal clear water and dig my toes in the sand!
One night while hanging out in front of the tv after work, I saw a commercial for some killer deals on Carnival Cruise Line. I didn't think much of it at first, but I kept seeing the commercial over and OVER again for about a week. With Chad completely unaware, I started looking through the deals online. And then it hit me- I could buy a cruise as a gift to Chad for our anniversary! After lots of discussion with my mom and my friends and coworkers, I took the plunge! I just couldn't pass up the deal that I found and with some good connections, also am getting some killer deals on airfare.
For weeks I had to keep it a secret from Chad and it was killing me! The very day that I purchased the cruise I spilled the beans about 4 or 5 times. Anyone that knows me knows that when I am trying to keep something like this a secret, it's pretty near impossible for me to not explode! But somehow I did it and at dinner on our anniversary, I gave Chad his gift. So come the end of October Chad and I will be sailing of to the Bahamas for 4 days! I've cruised quite a few places, but have never seen the Bahamas. Can't wait to be in the crystal clear water and dig my toes in the sand!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Weekend to Support Adoption!
Doing the work that I do and hoping to become an adoptive parent one day, I often come across neat and fun things going on in the community to help support adoption. This weekend is full of lots of adoption fun! Check it out:
The Utah Foster Care Foundation Chalk Art Festival 2010 is this weekend at the Gateway in Downtown Salt Lake City. Friday June 18th 4pm- 9pm and Saturday June 19th 10am- 9pm. For more information visit the link: http://www.chalkartfestival.org/
And of course you can't go wrong with this one! I am told it's nationwide, so spread the word!!!
The Utah Foster Care Foundation Chalk Art Festival 2010 is this weekend at the Gateway in Downtown Salt Lake City. Friday June 18th 4pm- 9pm and Saturday June 19th 10am- 9pm. For more information visit the link: http://www.chalkartfestival.org/
And of course you can't go wrong with this one! I am told it's nationwide, so spread the word!!!
Looking for another easy way to support adoption this weekend? Buy a Frosty at Wendy's! Fifty cents from every Frosty purchase Saturday or Sunday will go to the Dave Thomas Foundation for adoption.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Words to Live By
At the end of May we had to update all our info with our adoption agency. At that time I realized that it has been 6 months since we were approved. It's been a long and bumpy road and I'm sure there are more bumps ahead. On the front of our church program there is always a quote printed from one of the general authorities from the church. They are usually nice quotes and words to live by, but the one printed this last Sunday jumped out at me and I just wanted to share.
"Patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can- working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires or our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well."
-Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf
"Patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can- working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires or our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well."
-Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Thursday, May 6, 2010
How We Came to Adoption
I felt like I needed to add some more to our blog today and realized that we have yet to share the story of how we chose adoption. I apologize ahead of time, as I know infertility can sometimes make people uncomfortable.
The story starts back to my childhood actually. My mother was told when she first got married that she would find it very difficult to become pregnant. Surprisingly, she had no trouble at all becoming pregnant with me VERY shortly after my parents got married. My parents wanted very badly to have more children and struggled for a long time with it. My sister finally came along nine years later. My mom has always been faithful in knowing that we were the two children meant for her and she has never felt that anyone was missing. I wouldn't trade having just one sibling for the world, although I do like to tease my sister that I always asked for a brother. ;)
When I became a teenager I always suspected that I would likely encounter some of the same issues as my mom when it came time for me to have my family. In college I had quite a few problems, including a trip to the emergency room because of it. I was put on several medications in the hope that it would regulate things so that I could have a family someday. When Chad and I became engaged, we talked about all the wonderful things that need to be talked about before getting married, including starting a family. I told him my concerns, but Chad being the guy that he is told me not to worry about it and that we would deal with it when we needed to.
The time came and with no surprise to me, there were problems. My doctor, knowing that infertility would likely come up, allowed us to start testing a bit sooner then she usually recommends. After several tests, things were slightly inconclusive and we were referred to the infertility specialist. We had no idea what to expect when we went there, nor the high costs that accrue. Our doctor was wonderful and very positive with us. At every appointment she made it a point to check in with how we were feeling emotionally about how things were going. With the specialist, we completed even more testing and still hit a dead end, but we started doing treatments. We completed three IUIs that were completely unsuccessful. We were tired, frustrated, and confused about what the right path was for us by this point. No one could tell us what was wrong or why things were not working out. For me that was the worst part. If only we knew what was wrong, then it could be fixed!
Chad has always wanted to adopt and had always brought it up to me since I can remember. His grandfather was adopted and he has been around other friends and family that have adopted in the past as well. My experience with adoption has been through my job as a social worker and it has not always been a positive outlook. What is so funny about this, is that with most couples that choose adoption, it's usually the wife that really wants to adopt while the husband drags his feet! It ended up being the exact opposite for us!
Again I pushed the adoption option aside and we tried for a fourth IUI. This time I was on medication to help increase our chances and after the ultrasound we found that there was not a more perfect situation to try for it. Even our doctor told us that she thought this was the one. 14 long excruciating days went by only to find that it had failed, yet again. We were totally and completely heartbroken at this point. We had given so much time, money, and tears into it only to walk away from the most perfect situation with nothing. I did continue to take the medication, but this was also not without failure. I struggled for such a long time with what I saw as my failure in life. I could not understand why our Father in Heaven wanted for his children to have families, but was not allowing us to have ours.
I look back on our journey over what has now been three years and realize now the path the Lord has put us on and while it is not over, I feel comforted in knowing that there is a plan for each of us. Over the months that followed our final failed attempts with infertility I see that the Lord truly had a hand in our lives. Chad really began bringing up adoption with me. One night my dearest friend and neighbor, who had also been struggling with infertility, invited us to go with her to a presentation that was being put on by some of the members of our church in our area. Chad and I agreed to go with her and I will forever be grateful to her for that invitation. It was that night that I knew and had my confirmation of what I knew our Father in Heaven had planned for us. I think Chad breathed a sigh of relief that night as I told him that I really felt that we should try adoption! I believe that he always knew what was right for us, but knew that I would need to come to that same conclusion before we could move forward. When I set my mind on something, I typically move forward pretty quickly and so just a few days after this meeting, I had our papers filled out and ready to turn in so that we could move forward.
We were approved in November and have been anxiously waiting and eager for the right birthparents to come along. The wait has not been without struggle, but I know that this is the right path for us. The Lord has taught us so many lessons over the last three years and I will forever be grateful for them. I can see His hand in all the choices that Chad and I have made in our lives, even in simple things like where we decided to move and the friends that we have made. We will forever be grateful and indebted to the wonderful family and friends that we have met along the way and for their continual support in the process. We know that at the end of our trials, we will always be able to look back and know that they made us better people.
Tara
The story starts back to my childhood actually. My mother was told when she first got married that she would find it very difficult to become pregnant. Surprisingly, she had no trouble at all becoming pregnant with me VERY shortly after my parents got married. My parents wanted very badly to have more children and struggled for a long time with it. My sister finally came along nine years later. My mom has always been faithful in knowing that we were the two children meant for her and she has never felt that anyone was missing. I wouldn't trade having just one sibling for the world, although I do like to tease my sister that I always asked for a brother. ;)
When I became a teenager I always suspected that I would likely encounter some of the same issues as my mom when it came time for me to have my family. In college I had quite a few problems, including a trip to the emergency room because of it. I was put on several medications in the hope that it would regulate things so that I could have a family someday. When Chad and I became engaged, we talked about all the wonderful things that need to be talked about before getting married, including starting a family. I told him my concerns, but Chad being the guy that he is told me not to worry about it and that we would deal with it when we needed to.
The time came and with no surprise to me, there were problems. My doctor, knowing that infertility would likely come up, allowed us to start testing a bit sooner then she usually recommends. After several tests, things were slightly inconclusive and we were referred to the infertility specialist. We had no idea what to expect when we went there, nor the high costs that accrue. Our doctor was wonderful and very positive with us. At every appointment she made it a point to check in with how we were feeling emotionally about how things were going. With the specialist, we completed even more testing and still hit a dead end, but we started doing treatments. We completed three IUIs that were completely unsuccessful. We were tired, frustrated, and confused about what the right path was for us by this point. No one could tell us what was wrong or why things were not working out. For me that was the worst part. If only we knew what was wrong, then it could be fixed!
Chad has always wanted to adopt and had always brought it up to me since I can remember. His grandfather was adopted and he has been around other friends and family that have adopted in the past as well. My experience with adoption has been through my job as a social worker and it has not always been a positive outlook. What is so funny about this, is that with most couples that choose adoption, it's usually the wife that really wants to adopt while the husband drags his feet! It ended up being the exact opposite for us!
Again I pushed the adoption option aside and we tried for a fourth IUI. This time I was on medication to help increase our chances and after the ultrasound we found that there was not a more perfect situation to try for it. Even our doctor told us that she thought this was the one. 14 long excruciating days went by only to find that it had failed, yet again. We were totally and completely heartbroken at this point. We had given so much time, money, and tears into it only to walk away from the most perfect situation with nothing. I did continue to take the medication, but this was also not without failure. I struggled for such a long time with what I saw as my failure in life. I could not understand why our Father in Heaven wanted for his children to have families, but was not allowing us to have ours.
I look back on our journey over what has now been three years and realize now the path the Lord has put us on and while it is not over, I feel comforted in knowing that there is a plan for each of us. Over the months that followed our final failed attempts with infertility I see that the Lord truly had a hand in our lives. Chad really began bringing up adoption with me. One night my dearest friend and neighbor, who had also been struggling with infertility, invited us to go with her to a presentation that was being put on by some of the members of our church in our area. Chad and I agreed to go with her and I will forever be grateful to her for that invitation. It was that night that I knew and had my confirmation of what I knew our Father in Heaven had planned for us. I think Chad breathed a sigh of relief that night as I told him that I really felt that we should try adoption! I believe that he always knew what was right for us, but knew that I would need to come to that same conclusion before we could move forward. When I set my mind on something, I typically move forward pretty quickly and so just a few days after this meeting, I had our papers filled out and ready to turn in so that we could move forward.
We were approved in November and have been anxiously waiting and eager for the right birthparents to come along. The wait has not been without struggle, but I know that this is the right path for us. The Lord has taught us so many lessons over the last three years and I will forever be grateful for them. I can see His hand in all the choices that Chad and I have made in our lives, even in simple things like where we decided to move and the friends that we have made. We will forever be grateful and indebted to the wonderful family and friends that we have met along the way and for their continual support in the process. We know that at the end of our trials, we will always be able to look back and know that they made us better people.
Tara
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Another Option for Adoption
In January I attended a mini-class held at LDS Family Services on Other Adoption Options. I love that LDSFS and FSA (Families Supporting Adoption) have been holding these classes. They are so informative and I love getting together with other couples who are hoping to adopt. One of the other options discussed was a website called ParentProfiles.com. After lots of chatting with some of the other couples who have used the site and have been very successful, Chad and I decided this was going to be our next step.
The website offers more exposure as an adoptive couple and will help with getting our profile "out there." While we still would like to complete the final process through LDSFS (mostly because of the cost), we hope to be able to connect with some wonderful birth parents through Parent Profiles.
You can check out our Parent Profiles page here: http://www.parentprofiles.com/profiles/db25450.html
-Tara
The website offers more exposure as an adoptive couple and will help with getting our profile "out there." While we still would like to complete the final process through LDSFS (mostly because of the cost), we hope to be able to connect with some wonderful birth parents through Parent Profiles.
You can check out our Parent Profiles page here: http://www.parentprofiles.com/profiles/db25450.html
-Tara
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